Some days it seems like all I can think about it having a baby, wanting a baby, needing a baby. At this point,  knowing how hard it is going to be for me to get pregnant, those days are much harder. I start to wonder why this is happening to me. Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t DH be very fertile? Even if we can somehow fix DH through surgery or something, will it be worth it? Am I fertile? Will we ever be able to get pregnant?

Where should we put our money to make sure we can get a baby? If we throw it at several different things hoping they will work, and none of them do, then we have no money left and no baby. And I wasn’t planning on spending our live savings on trying to conceive.

All these thoughts running through my mind torture me. Not to mention trying to make sure DH and I are living the healthiest lifestyles we can, to improve our chances of concieving. We try not to drink, take meds, exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet…

And it doesn’t seem fair that we are doing ALL these things right, and so many people are smoking, drinking, doing drugs, living in filth, and they get pregnant no problem. And then some of them actually abort their babies! Don’t they realize how many people would LOVE to have their baby?

I never thought I would be in this situation, where having a baby would be this hard, and most likely a very expensive process….and I’m talking expensive before the baby is even born! Now that I am, I am trying so hard to be positive, and be happy for everyone around me who is getting pregnant and having babies.

Please, keep us in your prayers. We will be wonderful parents….we just need the chance to have a baby.